‘Adulting’ is a term coined by today’s young adult, to depict the ups, downs, and dynamics of life as an adult in this present day. There is so much to distinguish the more every young individual walks through life as an adult. The disappointing experiences sometimes magnify the memory-worthy experiences and lessons that we can take home.
Many young adults in this generation are very different from their parents, and so sometimes come across as misunderstood, but to some extent, they are simply trying to figure out this thing called life, and because they sometimes have no guidance from a more experienced party, they come off as know it all and stand-offish. But that’s not the case.
Counselling Psychologist, Dr. Pricilla Mugambi, says “They want success, and society around them wants them to be successful, in general, young adults want to be successful in their careers, academics, and relationships, they aspire to get their dream job, which is paying well, they want to be independent. In the world today there is lots of demand, especially with finances, they want to be able to uphold that lifestyle. They want to get into a trusted relationship, feel loved and have someone who can be there for them.”
There are some unhealthy ways that the young adult of this day deals with life’s pressures, and Dr. Pricilla responds by saying, “People want to have a comfortable life and because the reality is not so, you find some negative coping mechanisms like drugs and alcohol; thinking it will help them calm down, or help them sleep. Because of economic frustration, you want to have your dream house… this is where you find the ladies may get what they call ‘a sponsor’, or some get into illegal businesses.”
She goes on to say, “This is what society is painting as successful people, even in social media, so they will look for shortcuts. People want to be successful. Successful to them means you are healthy, you are not stressed or tense, you are happy. Others will opt out of relationships because you’re trying to look for happiness.”
Adulting has developmental milestones within it, and this is something a lot of people do not take into consideration. You will find several young adults saying the phrase “adulting is a scam” to connote that they were not ready for what life has to offer, especially the negative circumstances we encounter from time to time.
Dr. Pricilla says, “It seems the lie or the ‘scam’ is the misconceptions, what you expect or what you thought would be, sometimes even our church and what they expect of you. When those expectations go contrary to the reality, what is being painted and all these other areas you are exposed to, that conflict, is what makes someone start doubting. Also, you thought you can fix things yourself, thinking about your happiness – for example in a relationship, as a Christian, you enter to make yourself happy yet in the scriptures it says for you to be the greater you have to humble yourself, like a child. So when you do not know the truth, that’s when you feel it’s a lie.”
We continue this conversation with a special interview of two special guests who helped us demystify what’s happening on the ground.