Song of Songs 8:4
I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.
The book of Song of Songs is Jewish poetry at its best. Thus, anyone with a sanctified imagination can see the sexual tension and passion described therein. The lady character in this book is so drunk in love and aroused in desire for her beloved as captured, for example, in this part:
Oh that you were like a brother to me who nursed at my mother’s breasts! If I found you outside, I would kiss you, and none would despise me. I would lead you and bring you into the house of my mother— she who used to teach me. I would give you spiced wine to drink, the juice of my pomegranate. His left hand is under my head, and his right hand embraces me! (SS 8:1-3)
With this intensity, she is quick to sound a warning to her friends, those who were unmarried, “…do not stir or awaken love before it pleases.” (Also appears in 2:7 and 3:5). In other words, there is a time for romantic love, which finds its climax in sexual fulfillment, to be realised. To awaken love before its time is to court disaster. Outside the confines of marriage, this kind of love is dangerous and disastrous even. Therefore, before one feels that they are mature and ready to settle down in marriage, they should not entertain the thought of a romantic relationship. This is because they will only stir up passions that they will not have legitimate space to fulfill. Love is prohibitive. Unfortunately, the unmarried burn with passion and carelessly drink from the cup of love. Sadly also, some of the married go for days, weeks, and even months without stopping by the love fountain for a drink. This should not be so, brothers and sisters. We must be aware of the scheme of the evil one to keep us from fulfilling God’s will. As a pastor friend once said:
“While dating, there is pressure to be sexually intimate with one another, whereas in marriage, couples have to pray for grace.”
This is the devil’s scheme and we must overcome him by:
Exercising restraint if we are not married.
Enjoying God’s gracious gift of love if we are married.
Reflections
1. When do you think it’s okay for people to begin romantic relationships?
2. For the married, does your love life come even close to the description in Song of Songs? If not, what do you need to do?
