Motherhood is defined as being a mother. However, you take form in that state. It is the most rewarding, exhausting, mind-boggling experience. I have a few things to tell you about motherhood that a lot of moms will probably agree with, and you there who is dreaming of raising a little one someday, here are a few FACTS according to yours truly:
You will love/hate being pregnant: I know how that sounds. I loved my pregnancy period because it hardly slowed my life down, I had no mood swings, no cravings, and it barely showed…until one day I woke up with the worst breakout I have ever seen. And my hips suddenly felt like all the grease had been sucked out of them and it hurt to walk the last few weeks of my bun.
You will never rest enough: You want to sleep. Wake up for a few minutes, you want to sleep again. And what is funny is every time you close your eyes, you just sleep. And you can sleep anywhere. Anytime. Deeply.
People rubbing your belly is not really as ‘sweet’ as you assume now: I hated when anyone would touch my belly to feel the baby kicking, or just to rub on it. I do not know why though. But I was never comfortable with it.
The changes in your body can be Interesting? I am not even talking about stretch marks. God blessed me with a flawless baby tummy, not a single mark showed up. Oh but I can tell you the way my body changed was completely something to behold. Imagine waking up and your shoe does not fit. Not because your feet are swollen because I did not have that either, but because my foot grew a size. Stop laughing, it is not funny. And the chicken arms. The shiny forehead and your fingers suddenly become fat.
When the baby comes, your life literally stops: You cannot imagine that you were ever happy without them. I cannot explain this part. This one only until you feel it will you understand.
Babies make you superhuman: You can literally function on 4 hours of sleep. You will cook, clean, breastfeed, cuddle, keep up with colic, cry, get mad, yell at people, and still manage to function. It might depress you but I can guarantee you, once you are a mom, nothing knocks you out. Trust me, nothing.
You will never again look at your partner the same: Now hear me out on this one, I am not saying it is a bad thing. But when you have a newborn, you barely have any time for yourself, leave alone your partner. You tend to get lost in your new role, it is not something you can explain, but show yourself grace, you just produced a human.
You will hurt: New-born baby pain can be crazy. For moms who have their babies through C-section, for moms who tear up, to aching cracking nipples, to having too much milk and your breasts feel like concrete slabs. And for some of us, it is your emotions that will be in pain. You feel bad that you are not doing enough, you feel bad that you are so tired, you feel bad about nothing and everything. It is ok, it is normal.
You might get lonely: Now, this part is tough. Having a newborn is one of the biggest revealing moments of your life. As much as it is one of the happiest, it can be the loneliest. Your friends have their own lives, maybe not even settled down yet. That will come and coo at your baby the first few weeks maybe. But make no mistakes, for many days and moments, you will be alone. Even your partner may not be so understanding. You will not be able to explain why you are lonely, but you will understand that being a mom is solely your job. You get to know your baby very well. And you will get pretty good at it too.
You will have a new respect for parents, especially mothers like yourself: I broke loose in campus after living a life where my parents were always using me as an example to my siblings. I was never in trouble, loved to read and I was very hardworking both at home and in school. In campus, I broke lose, completely. I started drag racing cars, got arrested twice and my mom had to come to get me. I drove trucks to Uganda and Rwanda after telling my folks I am staying in school to read; got arrested again. This time she had me drug tested, because she could not understand that I was soberly doing that stuff. While my friends partied and drank, I was paying money to go shoot actual guns in Ngong.
As a mom now, when my son climbs on tables and jumps on sofas I lose my mind. Like are you trying to break your neck? Every time he runs at breakneck speed with his tiny legs I freak out. But I keep praying for him because I know this my seed has the potential for wild stuff. Respect for your parents is all I am saying.